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How to Raise a Confident Child

As a parent, confidence is one of the most beautiful gifts you can give your children. A child who lacks confidence will be hesitant when trying new and challenging things. 

Moreover, this could also turn into a fear of failing and disappointing others as they grow up. Nothing cripples a free spirit more than the fear of failure and the constant attempt to please everybody.

So, you need to teach your children to be positive and trust in themselves; help them build self-esteem from a very young age. Encourage your little ones to tackle every difficult task with courage and confidence. This is one of the best lessons you could ever teach them.

How Do You Raise a Confident and Optimistic Child 

The opposites of confidence are disappointment and the fear of failing.

As we grow up, we face more challenges and the way we tackle these challenges might shape how we will tackle everything later in life.

Children can experience burn-out if the pressure put on their shoulders is too much: “get good grades!”; “don’t upset your teachers!”; “do your chores!”. These things can make a child fearful of disappointing the people around them.

We’re not saying you should pamper them and hide them in a crystal ball. No. We’re saying that you should listen to them, understand the way they feel, and help them when things get rough. Every child is different. Maybe little Brian can cope with school pressure than Jeremy. 

So, here are 7 suggestions that you can follow to help your child grow up a confident and optimistic person. 

1. Value their efforts 

Children confidence

Show appreciation for all of their efforts. Growing up is a journey, not a destination. Winning and excelling at everything is not the goal.

Let your children know that you admire their efforts to learn, compete in sports or do their homework. Even if they fail, you should show them you’re proud of them because they’ve tried.

Your children should never be afraid of trying. 

2. Make practice seem fun

Practice makes perfect, but practice is not fun most of the time, and your children know that.

So, rather than always saying “you should practice harder”, try to make practice fun for them. Don’t put too much pressure on them to practice. Try to challenge them and make them go practice out of their own will.

For example, if your child learns to play piano but doesn’t like practising too much, you could go fool around on the piano. Press a few wrong keys and have them come over and teach you how it’s done.

You could also speak to them about how you don’t like everything you do at work. However, you still do it because at the end of the day, when you’ve finished a project, it makes you proud. 

3. Don’t give them all the answers, all the time

Child confident asking questions

When you see your child struggling with an issue, you can suggest a few solutions. However, don’t solve the problem for them. Let them feel like they’ve found the answer themselves. 

It doesn’t matter if they get a B instead of an A. What matters is that they’ve got that B out of their own work. And you should point that out. 

4. Don’t forget their age

Sometimes, we might forget our children’s age in the sense that we don’t let them act their age.

Don’t expect your children to act like adults. Don’t expect them to do the chores as well as you do them. Set age-appropriate expectations.

5. Answer all of their questions

Sometimes, we might forget our children’s age in the sense that we don’t let them act their age.

Don’t expect your children to act like adults. Don’t expect them to do the chores as well as you do them. Set age-appropriate expectations.

Sometimes, when children start their stream of questioning, and you’re tired after a long day at work, you might be tempted to cut it short. Don’t do that.

Let children ask as many questions as they want. By asking question after question, children realise there are entire worlds of knowledge out of their reach. If you answer their questions with great interest, they will enjoy taking in the information. It’s a skill that will also help them better follow what the teacher says in school.

More than that, it will only fuel their curiosity and make learning seem fun. Your children won’t feel afraid to ask questions in school, either, which is important.

6. Never criticise your children’s performance

Don't criticise your children's actions, whether it's school, sports, or doing chores.

You need to give your children constructive feedback. You've probably heard these words a thousand times, but they're the right words in this context.

Criticising your children's efforts will only make them give up trying. Criticising their results could make them afraid of failure.

Try to make suggestions, instead. Don't tell them, "you've done all this wrong". Instead, propose different ways of doing things. "I think it would be better if you tried this".

Parental criticism can weigh a lot on a child's self-value. Keep that in mind!

7. Treat mistakes as learning opportunities

Learning from mistakes is the first step toward building confidence.

Children will not be afraid of mistakes if they see you treat mistakes as valuable learning opportunities.

Don’t be hard on your children when they make a mistake. More than that, don’t go full protective mode on them either. Let them fall, mess up every now and then.

Use all those “uh-oh” moments to teach your children not to be ashamed or afraid of failure but rather learn from it.

“It’s ok. Next time we’ll know not to do that!” - these are just some reassuring words you can tell them after every “uh-oh”.

So, encourage your children to learn from their mistakes. Make sure they don’t become fearful of trying or challenging themselves. 

Help nourish their curiosity and let them fail from time to time, so they’re not afraid of failure. Growing up is a beautiful journey. Guide your children on the path to becoming confident and positive young people.

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